so I did stay up all night to study for my german exam and I got a 77. honestly, I was expecting average or so, so that’s an ok grade for me. I still get an A in the class. wooh

My life is so empty and boring, it saddens me. I have yet to go on an adventure.. The year is already almost half way over. I haven’t done anything to make this year feel special. It doesn’t feel like this year is the “it” year. 13 is my favorite number though…

I’m just really bored these days and I need something to spark it up. I feel almost dead. And I know God is “here” but it’s just hard to follow up on His rules and everything. I just don’t have that kind of motivation.

I need to change my meds, these new meds are gay as fuck and killing me. I hate my doctor for making me go another month with them. Neverrr again.

i feel so dead sometimes..

i have a german exam tomorrow and i really don’t want to stay up all night and study. i don’t know if should just stick with a B or bring it up to an A. 

ever since I’ve switched meds, I’ve fallen behind. I told my doctor this med wasn’t helping… I hate him. I said I wanted to go back to my old meds but no he kept on insisting this was working better. I think I know what works better for my own body you stupid old man.

even when my friends are home, i think i’ll still feel the same.

i think i’ll feel misunderstood or not understood, still. like a part of me is still missing. i know the answer and it’s God. but where is my courage, where has it gone..why can’t i seem to find it. 

still, i’ve said it three times. still. it means calm, it means not moving, it means the same. i want to move, i want to go wild for something i know is right for me, i want to do something different.

life will still be the same.

i feel like i’m damned. i’ll be swallowed into a black eternal hole of nothingness. i don’t want to feel that way anymore but it’s the only comfort i know.